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How should you navigate your first post-divorce holiday?

Divorce brings with it many complications, especially when you have children. If you recently obtained a Pennsylvania divorce, you may be feeling down and more than a little lost. Fortunately for you, MSN Lifestyle provides a few tips for coping with the holidays post-divorce.

The author of the post, a divorcee herself, assures readers that while spending the holidays without your kids is never going to be easy, it does get easier. However, to get to that "easier" point, you need to be willing to create new traditions and to enlist concrete coping mechanisms. One such coping mechanism is to resist the urge to be stubborn.

It is only natural to want to hide away and be alone when your ex-spouse has the kids for the holiday. Do not do this, as doing so will only make your grief more acute. While the author suggests that it is okay to have a good cry on Christmas Day, New Year's Eve or any other important holiday, you should put forth the effort to create new holiday traditions for yourself. If you have single friends, host a Christmas Eve wrapping party or a Christmas Day brunch. Ring in the New Year with your parents, siblings and their children. Host a Friendsgiving as a way of giving thanks for all that is good in your life.

Another way to make the holidays easier is to create a separate holiday date with your kids. Just because you do not get to spend December 25or 31 with your children does not mean that you cannot celebrate. If your ex has your children on the first three days of Hanukkah or on Christmas Eve, make the days up to your children and yourself by recreating them. Post-divorce, calendar days become nothing more than numbers.

Do not be afraid to splurge on yourself, suggests the author. Do not go over the top with gifts for your kids as a way to try and reconcile your divorce. Gifts do not equate to love, so take the money that you would have spent on that extravagant gift and treat yourself to a spa day, new clothes or a little home remodel project.

Finally, allow yourself to be sad. Let yourself go through the stages of grief—anger, sadness and fear—so that you can get to the peaceful and happy stage of your life. Repressing your emotions will only do you more harm than good.

The information in this post is for educational purposes only. It should not be construed as legal advice.

 

 

 

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