Creating an arrangement that works for your family after a divorce can be tricky. You want to figure out a situation that keeps your children happy and fits in with your new lifestyle.
A relatively recent trend for co-parenting is called “nesting.” Could this different kind of living arrangement work for you and your family?
What is nesting?
The term “nesting” refers to how birds operate. The babies stay in the nest while the mother and father fly in and out to take care of them. In human terms, this means your kids stay in one home while the parents come and go based on their custody arrangement. For example, you might decide your kids will stay in your current home and you and your ex will each find apartments to live in, near the home, for when you are not with the kids. Then, you and your ex can alternate between staying in the house with your kids.
Nesting can have a positive effect on divorced families because it creates a constant for the kids. Letting your kids reside in one space, instead of travelling back and forth between homes, can make them feel more secure. Especially if your children are young, a nesting arrangement can work better because it does not create as much disturbance in their lives.
How can we make it work?
As with other types of living arrangements post-divorce, nesting does take work and there are ways to make it function as smooth as possible. A positive relationship with your ex and open communication are key. In order for nesting to work you will have to talk to your ex frequently. You will both need to share and care for the nest, coordinate your finances and manage your children’s schedules and lives.
This arrangement has its pros and cons. Careful evaluation of your situation and honest discussions with your ex are necessary when deciding what type of post-divorce situation will work for you. Nesting might not be the right arrangement for everyone, but it can certainly work in some situations.